The significant ‘OTHERS’

They are not lovers, friends or family. They are also not the ones you make that frantic call to when in a crisis. Yet, they are the constants you cannot live without. Their role in a woman’s life is as essential as it is functional. You can call them by many names, sometimes even put them up on a pedestal. After all, they do all kinds of jobs — big, small, odd.They drive the children to school, bring home medicine when you cannot get out of bed, and probably know aspects of your life that no one else knows. If not for these men, life can be one big mess.
INK LINK
Mapuii Khiangte was distraught at 15. She wanted a tattoo all her adolescent years and when she finally managed to save up enough money to get inked, it turned out all wrong. The disastrous result left such an indelible mark, Khiangte didn’t even attempt to rectify it. However, all that changed when this freelance hair stylist moved to Mumbai. In the fashion capital of the country, Khiangte met Olly Alva, a tattoo artist. Not only did Alva cover up her “terrible tattoo”, he did such a good job of it, she got five more done from him. He has even done piercings for her — more than 17, including on her belly button and left eyebrow.
Alva, 29, has become her soul mate of sorts over the past six years they have known each other. “My tattoos are an expression of my ideas and dreams. I need to find a real connection with my tattoo artist for him to understand me. My relation with Olly is as special as it is with my tattoos,” says Khiangte. “I think we have a special bond that people rarely find, as there are no erasers for such permanent art.”
NOT ALL ABOUT LOVE
Khiangte insists that her relationship with Alva is completely platonic — a fact that may not be so hard to believe after all. According to clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Varkha Chulani, women form pretty intense bonds with men who play an important function in their lives. “While they may not necessarily those are called when in trouble, there remains a strong though possibly platonic bond,” she says. Chulani gives the example of male hairdressers. “You spend 45 minutes minimum with him, confined to that chair, you tend to discuss life in general. Obviously, there will be a strong rapport.”Chulani says that in her own life, men who play a pivotal role are her pedicurist and head massager. “I have a very hectic life and they help me pamper myself,” she says.
DRIVING FORCE
Incidentally, women like to keep men who perform basic functions like bringing their groceries, in good humour. Nupur Chandra, a PR executive, says she is particularly nice to the boys who bring home her groceries and her medicines. “If it’s late at night, my grocery guy promptly gets me the milk so I can have a cup of hot chocolate. I make sure he knows how thankful I am to him,” says this 25-year-old who lives alone in Delhi.
For author and singer Suchitra Krishnamoorthi, one of the most important people in her life is her driver. “You don’t know how much a good driver means to a single mother. I tend to care for my domestic help a lot and feel vulnerable if they are not around. My driver has been working with us for more than five years now...he has become a part of the household,” she says.
MAN FOR ALL SEASONS
Women also develop a special relation with men who know aspects of them that most people don’t know. Aishwarya Rai had once said that her secretary Hari Singh is “like her dad”. Doctors, lawyers, fitness trainers — all of them know women like no one else in their family does. Small wonder then, that the tribe of ‘the other men’ continues to grow.